


bee mine, hajime

by deleteitsweaty



Category: Bee Movie (2007), Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bees, Crack, Dirty Talk, I hate myself, M/M, Memes, Other, Smut, alot of memes, bee puns, bee sex, beekawa, beewa-chan, beewaoi, filthy porn, how did they even have sex, i dont know, i exploited the word, kindaichi is oikawa's manslave, rushed ending tbh, slightly ooc hajime, this was done out of irony, ushijima has weird kinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 15:47:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8062279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deleteitsweaty/pseuds/deleteitsweaty
Summary: According to all known lawsof aviation,there is no way a beeshould be able to fly.Its wings are too small to getits fat little body off the ground.The bee, of course, flies anywaybecause bees, namely Oikawa Tooru,want a piece of Iwaizumi Hajime's ass.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i watched the bee movie the other day and thought why not and then this happened and i msorry????
> 
> save me from this tormented hell

today was the day oikawa tooru was going to do it. do what, exactly?

 

he was going to do iwaizumi hajime.

 

_i’ll never forget that day. 8 years ago, i snuck out of the hive at midnight to explore the outside world as an impotent, miniscule bee. i got hit by multiple newspapers, fingers threatening to kill me wherever i flew. despite my life being at risk wherever i went, the good outweighed the bad._

 

_whats the good in all this, you ask?_

 

_when i was merely 10 years old, i laid eyes on the most beautiful boy i have ever seen. the moment i saw him, i knew i had to come back when puberty hit me. his name was iwaizumi hajime._

 

_that day, i penetrated my asshole with my own stinger and pretended that it was his sweet, sweet cock; promising myself that one day i’d come back for the real thing._

 

today was that day.

 

life in the hive was a conformist, communist propaganda controlled by the queen bee tsukishima kei, descendant of the world famous donald trump from the human species.

 

all bees have known what job they’ve wanted ever since they entered elementary school. whether it be a honey stirrer or a pollen counter at honex, the only life ahead of them was confined inside the walls of the bee hive. but oikawa wasn’t going to settle for that.

“kindaichi, pack my purse and make sure to bring the best Honey Lube™ you’ve got. hajime’s dick deserves to be lubricated with only the finest of liquids.” oikawa was going to come to apartment 11B prepared, not taking no for an answer.

as the newly legal worker bees made their way to the registration office, oikawa flew out of the hive faster than he came from the first time he saw iwaizumi.  


the crisp air welcomed oikawa as he flew above the vast city, wasting no time in flying to the apartment he knew so well.

but something was weighing him down. he felt his ass drooping away from his upper body. he’s been planning for this moment a month in advance, injecting honey into himself so that his ass could be thick enough for hajime’s big, ferocious monster cock, and his come sweet enough for him to savor every last ounce of.

but he didn’t let that stop him. so he continued to flap his wings, ignoring the jiggling motion of his ass constantly hitting his back.

 _there it was,_ the all too familiar balcony. it still had the purple daffodils sticking out of the glass window. oikawa could still remember coming on one of the petals, slowly watching it regain its vibrant color from his pollen infested dick juice.

before making his way in the tiny opening, he lubricated his asshole once more and gave himself a little pep talk, voice sounding eager and ready for what he has been waiting for years.

_there he was._

oikawa’s eyes started to water out of pure lust and desperation as he laid eyes on the man he knew he wanted to fuck so bad after 8 years. his arms were peeking out of his tight white t-shirt, face glistening with sweat, the outline of his cock insatiable through the grey sweatpants that made his dick look so majestic.

 **bee** ing the confident man he was, oikawa flew directly onto the coffee table iwaizumi had his legs propped on top of.

“i’ve **bee** n watching you, hajime.” he quickly flew to the right side of his shoulder, whispering seductively into his ear.

“what the-“ hajime looked around his empty apartment, shook by the close proximity of the mysterious voice.

oikawa flew on iwaizumi’s crotch. he was already half hard from whatever he was doing. “iwaizumi hajime, let me introduce myself. my name is oikawa tooru.”

“what the actual fuck is wrong with you you’re a talking bee what is this am i hallucinating what the fuck” iwaizumi proceeded to swat him out of his lap and got a glass of cold water, drinking it and then splashing it on his face.

“i just want to talk, hajime,” oikawa wasn’t going to give up just yet. he knew that the seducing part would be a challenge, but once iwaizumi was up to it, they were both going to get what they wanted.

“oh hajime, your face looks so hot when its wet like that, your hair slicked back like that…” oikawa sounded like he was about to explode, noises of incoherent buzzes coming out of his mouth, his whole body vibrating with want.

“what the fuck is happenign”

 

“i’ll give you time to think this through, but when you’re ready, im right here baby.” oikawa proceeded to do multiple poses on top of the water faucet; face down, ass up. going down on all fours, slapping his own fat ass as he moaned.

iwaizumi started to cackle, deep hoarse laughs erupting from his throat. “wait, oh my god, this is actually happening” he clutched his chest, trying to control his wheezing. although it wasn’t the sexiest sight, it made oikawa smile.

oikawa flew on hajime’s finger as he lifted it to level with his face, “you know, you’re not so bad after all…” iwaizumi’s brown eyes bore into oikawa’s face, analyzing his body from his voluptuous ass to the black and yellow stripes that hung onto his curves so perfectly.

“..i just left my boyfriend last night, it was about to be our third month together. his name was wakatoshi. he was fine as hell but he harassed me into roleplaying as a piece of corn multiple times. a CORN. i threatened to insert ear corns inside his asshole, but he actually got into it and begged me to do so..” iwaizumi was surprised at the sudden confession he made, shuddering as he pictured ushijima’s determined face in his mind.

“oh, hajime.. i cant believe someone so EVIL would terrorize you like that.. i would NEVER let you go through something i know you wouldn’t want to do… ill treat you the way you deserve to be treated, baby..” oikawa spoke with genuine concern, ignoring his flaming libido for a second.

“how are we… gonna do this? how do you expect to take my dick when you’re literally the size of my pube? dumbass. i could kill you.”

_this was it. this was iwaizumi giving in. the vulnerable confession, the questioning of how it was going to work out… oikawa was going to fuck him for sure._

“sssh, hajime. no more questions, just fuck me already. murder my tight asshole with your big cock, lick honey off every inch of my puny little insect body. i’ve wanted you for years…”

hajime took oikawa’s tiny hand and led him back to the coffee table.

“i cant believe im doing this. im going to penetrate a bee with my dick. im going to fuck a bee” iwaizumi was thinking outloud again, oikawa didn’t like the hesitation in his voice.

“if you continue to talk like that, im going to sting your asshole, and not in a good way..” oikawa threatened him, slowly losing his patience.

iwaizumi pinned oikawa down on the wooden table, making sure that he would stay put under his steady grip. “ **bee** quiet,”

“tooru, you asked for this. if my dick has any external, long-term effects to your body, i refuse to be held accountable for your stupidity.” iwaizumi gave one last remark before going down on oikawa’s trembling torso.

he teased him, outlining the black and yellow stripes with his tongue from his chest to his thin legs. “oh, hajime,” oikawa was barely being touched but he started to ejaculate everywhere, it was quite embrassing, but he didn’t give a fuck.

“h-hajime…”

“oikawa… i want you to call me beewa-chan. pretend im like you. if i were a bee, i’d make sure id fuck your tight little ass so hard you’d never be able to pollinate again.” iwaizumi’s filthy tongue made oikawa squirm under his touch, if hajime didn’t do something quickly, he’d probably pass out from the sexual tension.

“oh god beewa-chan.. i want your big cock inside me now. i don’t care if i might die, this is my dying wish,” oikawa was screaming at the top of his lungs at this point, worried that he was going to combust at any given second.

just as hajime flipped oikawa around and inserted his dripping, throbbing cock into his tiny hole, a faint buzzing noise could be heard behind the two men.

“HEEEEEEEY BITCHES MIND IF I JOIN THE PARTY”

his name was tendou satori.

the most ghetto mosquito from the block, known for sucking crack heads blood best. that must be where he got all his stamina.

“b-beewa-chan im scared,”

iwaizumi paused. the mosquito looked familiar…… too familiar.

“you..” he whispered, almost to himself,

“that one night.. i thought i caught ushijima jacking off on the toilet bowl to the shower head.. t-that wasn’t the shower… it was you. you were sucking his blood straight from his dick you sick fuck”

“took you long enough to noti-“ hajime swatted the insect with his bare hand. He wanted to focus on oikawa and his ass so up high for him. rip in piece tendou ugly wannabe ghetto ass bitch bye

“anyway,”

 

hajime rammed his cock inside oikawa’s behind. their screams of pleasure overlapping one another. “o-oh my god, i-i didn’t expect this to feel so good.” iwaizumi thrusted quickly, so close to his orgasm he could already taste it.

oikawa was the first to come.

it was truly a majestic feeling, hearing both of their moans in coherence, a beautiful symphony. honey emerged from holes oikawa didn’t even know existed, hajime’s face soon stained with sticky liquid dripping down his cheeks.

it was a **bee** autiful sight.

“beewa-chan……. will you… bee mine?”

and from that day on, oikawa did lose his ability to pollinate due to the impact of hajime’s dick. that didn’t stop them from having filthy meme sex though.

oikawa got exactly what he wanted.

 **bee** end

**Author's Note:**

> i hate myself


End file.
